The Lowest Form of Wit

January 20, 2008

Modern-day Miracle

Filed under: Current Events

Yarrr 2008 [editor: this was written not long after the New Year].  With those prolonged festivities out of the way, let’s get on to today’s topic - an endearing little human-interest news item I read earlier.

Snipped article below:

So, let’s recap.  God was clearly "looking after the place" - after all, what better way is there to look after something than to have it catch fire??  Though one would infer from the article that the church catching fire in the first place was in fact not God’s fault, but that the actions of the woman who put the fire out were obviously his manifest will.

Backing up this startling miracle, we have a further heart-warming surprise in store - get this: hay-festooned items in a nativity scene were apparently burned in the short-lived fire, while a nearby ceramic angel - whose construction incidentally involved being fired for hours in a kiln-oven at 1000+ degrees - incredibly enough, failed to burn!!  Oh my gawwd!

The icing on the cake though, is the final sentence.  "She was sitting in the middle looking like nothing was happening".  Well stop the presses here folks, and bring out your boldest headline fonts:

Somebody call the Pope, he’s gonna want to hear about this one.  I think we may just have the basis for a New New Testament here.

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